You’ve possibly heard that statistic 50% of all marriages led to divorce – and you are determined not to be one of them. But do you really understand how to keep yourself from becoming part of those statistics? There aren’t any guarantees in life, but the more effort you put into preparing for your wedding before you get married, the better your chances will be.
Learn how to prepare for a marriage that will last you a lifetime, below.
- Learn Your Love Language
If you are not familiar with the Language of Love, it is time to get used to it, stat! The Love Languages is a relationship theory that states that everybody feels and offers love in five alternative ways. Everyone has all these different Love Languages, but their order and importance varies from person to person.
The Love Language is:
- Words of Affirmation
- Service Actions
- Receive Gifts
- Quality time
- Physical Touch
You can take online quizzes to find out your Love Language, or use official books to find out your love language. Knowing your own Love Language lets you know what to ask of your partner, and how best to communicate your love to them.
- Read The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Another book widely recommended by relationship theorists and counselors is “The Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse by John and Julie Gottman”. This book was written after relationship experts observed hundreds of arguing couples in an academic study, then tracked those couples to see who got divorced and who did not.
They found that there are four main aspects of fighting that lead to couples divorcing. They
- Critics
- Endure
- hitch
- Insult
This book shows couples how to recognize these patterns in their arguments, how to isolate those behaviors, and how to replace them with healthier argument strategies.
- Contact your Religious Leader
Depending on your religious affiliation, there may be a selected, structured process to undergo once you get engaged. Most Christian churches have couples meet their pastor at least once after the engagement and pre-wedding, while the Catholic churches have pre-marital classes that require couples to attend before they can be married in church.
If you are not involved in your local church but still claim to be religious, there are premarital practice books you can purchase online and work on together.
- Get Your Details in Order
Many marriages are about paperwork. There’s your marriage certificate, which is a document you must get from the courthouse before your wedding. Then name changes, bank account consolidation, anything visa related (like hiring Master Visa), and choose whose medical insurance you’ll apply for.
This is where some of the premarital workbooks come in useful – they guide you through what you need to do, when and how to do it.
- Don’t Lose Yourself in the Process
Your marriage is simply one day, but yours is (hopefully) eternally. Don’t get too caught up in wedding planning and forget to nurture your relationship throughout your engagement.
How to Prepare for Marriage
Your number one job during your engagement is dealing with issues that could damage your marriage down the line. If you can finish, say, four horsemen of the apocalypse during your engagement, that does not bode well for your marriage.
If you truly love and take care of each other, then the process of preparing for the marriage will be fun – not stressful!
Good luck and happy marriage!
