With the vacation season approaching and temperatures dropping, we look forward to cuddling up in front of the fireside with a glass of wine and that special someone. If you are currently flying solo, now is the time to pick up a Tinder Lothario to take with you to that awkward family dinner.
But do not let the temptation of December romance lower your standards! You deserve more than simply a Christmas fling. To help you brush the dirt off your buttons, we have put together a list of five traits you should look for in a lover in 2020 and beyond.
- sense of humor
In the age of social media, one can’t be blamed for thinking that a tall, dark, and handsome man is a must-have to spice up your life (and Instagram). But even for an attractive model like Elena Matei, looks aren’t at the top of the list. In a recent interview with Maxim, Elena Matei identifies a “great sense of humor” as her main trait for a partner. Experts agreewith psychologist Ryan Howes explaining, “the strongest couples I’ve ever met have the ability to laugh at themselves.”
Not only is humor an incredible way to relieve tension in relationships, but laughter also causes your brain to release endorphins (‘feel good’ chemicals), which in turn reduce stress levels.
So when you choose your guy, ensure he has more than simply a joke.
- Emotional intelligence
Not to be confused with book intelligence, emotional intelligence refers to a person’s ability to understand and regulate their own emotions and recognize the emotions of others.
Study support the old stereotype that ladies are kinder and more accepting of their partner’s feelings and opinions than men. But that does not imply there aren’t men out there who have high emotional intelligence. So if you are the type to compromise and put the needs of others first, it is vital that you choose a partner who is willing to meet you in the middle and can identify when you need some TLC.
Emotionally clever individuals are also better able to deal with conflict and disagreements with maturity and respect, leading to healthier relationships overall.
- Confidence
For most girls, self-confidence is a must-have trait for a potential partner. David Klow, psychotherapist and owner Skylight Counseling Center, bringing up the reasons why: “Women like straight men the same way salsa dancers like good leads. When there’s clarity and direction, he relaxes. If he could not believe his movements, they stepped on one another’s toes. However, if he’s direct and clear in his leadership, everybody wins.
However, it is simple to mistake cockiness for self-confidence. Here’s a tip for setting up your date: if he’s telling you What your big catch is, he possibly is not all that. A confident man will show you in his gestures and demeanor that he’s worth your time.
- Chemistry
While not a strict trait, chemistry is too important not to make the list. Most of us have been in a situation at some point in our lives where we ended up in a relationship because the guy looked great on paper. After all, if he treats you like a princess, is kind, and has a stable job, what’s not to like?
Unfortunately, the reality is: it does not matter how smart, rich, or handsome a guy is: if you do not have chemistry, it is not going to work. When choosing a new partner, you want someone who makes your heart race. If kissing him does not bring you to your knees now, things certainly will not get any better in five years with two kids.
As tidying teacher Marie Kwondo at all times says, ask yourself, “does it spark joy?” Otherwise, just let it be!
- Stability
When you reach a certain age, you realize that the ‘bad boy’ who does not like commitment and cannot keep a job for more than six months isn’t just a “free spirit”, he’s irresponsible.
The older we get, the more attractive the stability. It’s not just about financial security — a man with a gentle job and his own place has shown he is reliable and able to make commitments. This is essential if you want to settle down and begin a family.
However, this does not imply you should agree to a boring guy simply because he has a five year plan (see point 3!) — he can be fun and spontaneous and still pay all his bills on time.
The dating game is not easy, but by keeping these five key male traits in mind, you are likely to get the perfect kiss under the mistletoe.
