Right now, we believe that people exchangeable. Are we quick to think, “He’s no good, I’ll dump him and find someone else.” And sooner we find a new lover who exhibits precisely the same—if not worse—proclencies as the one we just left. We were taught to be independent, and this is an incredible discipline; we are self-made and independent. But in extreme, this attitude is guaranteed to interfere with our relationship. Nothing can be exchanged for others. Your partner is not a pair of pants you bought at Macy’s. Your partner was placed in your life for a greater reason in divine timing. He is a human being full of terrible flaws and failures… but also full of potential integrity. Be wary of leaving someone simply because they need a little inner work. You too. This is not to say that you must agree to unhealthy situations, but successful relationships take honest work and the payoff can go a long way in terms of not only finding, but keeping, long-term love.
If you believe you can sift through people until you find the perfect package, you’ll remain very disappointed throughout your relationship. You might find someone different, maybe a little better, but still needs some “fixing”. We enter new relationships carrying open wounds from our previous experiences, hungry for healing and emotional nourishment from our partners. And everybody we meet will test our ability to sacrifice, compromise, be patient and tolerant. Real relationships that last over time are ones in which you have poured out more love and understanding than you could ever have imagined.
It’s admirable to believe in the unique power of your relationship, and it is even wiser to realize that no, you will not magically stumble upon a fairy tale. If you currently find yourself in a relationship that’s weak, broken, or on the verge of collapse, but you believe it’s worth your effort, do not give up. Consider these seven ways to save your troubled relationship:
Re-evaluate the reason you are together
Back to the start. Ask yourself: What attracted me to this person? What qualities do they’ve that I find valuable? What makes them so astonishing? And are they still? Re-evaluating why you got together reminds you of why you stayed together, and it strengthens your existing foundations. Ask your partner what they like and do not like about you; open to constructive criticism and self-improvement.
Convey.
There is a right way and a wrong way to communicate. The right way is to ask your partner relevant questions, listen to their responses, and then offer your opinion. The wrong way is to overwhelm your partner with your annoyances and worries as soon as they walk in from a really long work day. Practice an effective speech by engaging your beloved one in a conversation that interests him. Ask questions that matter to them; people open up when you ask them about their day, important projects, how they’re feeling, etc. After you have listened to what they’ve to say, offer your side of the story. Stay away from heavy conversations in times of stress, and particularly in the heat of emotion. Relax, then approach the subject again. Don’t just voice your concerns; get to the heart of the matter by drawing your partner into the dialogue first.
Do something special coatether.
Maybe you both have a favourite restaurant that you have not been to in a while, otherwise you could return to the place where you first fell in love? Being in a physical space where you have strong memories of strong attachment can reignite passion. Or, you can try something you have never tried before. The excitement of something new generates serotonin and dopamine in the brain. It does not must be anything out of the ordinary; even sitting on a park bench and watching kids play while holding hands can work wonders when there’s love. What’s important is that you stop talking about taking that vacation, or trying that new place, and act on your intention to reconnect together.
Cut outside influence.
Often it’s the voices from outside that seep into our personal relationships and create poison. Understand who is playing a less positive role in your relationship and commit to keeping that person’s energy flowing! Keep your relationship as private as possible and disclose as few details as possible. Don’t automatically admit your love woes to someone else. Chances are they do not hold the answers to your problems. Open the gates of communication and admit your concerns to your partner.
Forgive each other.
Forgiveness means letting go—from the bitterness, anger, and hostility that’s holding you back from progressing with your partner. Forget the negative emotions that keep you from true forgiveness. Remind yourself that whatever happened, happened, and there’s no reason to drag the past into your future. Lingering in painful memories will only perpetuate them. Realize that forgiving is a process, not a result, so take small daily actions that reflect your intention to forgive.
Come clean about one thing.
We all harbor some secrets that would hurt other people deeply if they found out. this is normal. Certain things are best kept to ourselves. But honesty can work the magic of what your partner thinks of you. Admitting a secret or mistake to your partner may make them want to open up too.
Set boundaries with each othe.
And watch your word! If you set rules for your partner, set similar rules for yourself. This means that if your partner promises not to stay out late on Saturday, you must abide by the same rule. A relationship is a two way street. Tell your partner honestly what you want them to do (or not do), then be prepared to accept the boundaries they set for you too. Maintaining the relationship within snug boundaries avoiding fights, outbursts, and setbacks. It helps growth together if both partners respect the other’s wishes. It also promotes a sense of security and the trust that every is acting in good faith.
While you should not stay in a relationship that jeopardizes your well-being, all relationships require your honest efforts and obedience to your partner’s needs. Not giving up on someone and trying their best to make it work is an honorable job to do. Use our seven ways to save your struggling relationship and reap the benefits of an unbreakable bond of affection.
For Eternal Love,
Dr. Carmen Harra & Alexandra Harra
Dr. Carmen Harra, a world-renowned intuitive reader and relationship expert. Dr. Harra has worked with celebrities and politicians for years as a trusted advocate for their future and well-being. She has appeared on Good Morning America, the Oprah WIndfrey show, and plenty of other shows, and currently hosts her own successful radio show on WABC.
