If you are a millennial, then you understand how strange dating can be in today’s dating scene. These days, all we agree to is flashes of a “traditional” relationship, hoping we’ll be very lucky to find one as long-lasting and honest as Boomers and Generation X. It’s no more holding hands, it is all sex on the first date ( and never call back the next day), superficial relationships have replaced the beauty of commitment, our looks became more important than how we feel… and it has all become too much.
Nostalgia for the past
With today’s dating climate, it is safe to say that we collectively suffer from relationship nostalgia. There is a feeling that we crave intimacy more than we care to admit because admitting it means we have deliberately screwed ourselves up.
Experimenting with what we perceive as happiness and freedom, we have immersed ourselves in detachment, fear, and plenty of choices that are entirely unnecessary. If we had someone to teach us better, we would know that experimenting is synonymous with getting lost, that the absence of true intimacy can’t be compensated for by physical intimacy and that, no matter what we do, we will finally want stability and love. . And right now, we haven’t got that.
Internet disaster
While on the one hand, the internet has made everything possible, on the other hand, it has made everything impossible. One of those Catch 22 moments, you know?
These days, it is easier than ever to find information online, whether for business or dating purposes. Business is simple, really. But, in terms of dating – it is a little more complicated than it seems.
Our social images barely match our reality, making online dating extremely misleading. Everyone can look like Megan Fox or Colin Farrell these days with just the correct amount of VSCO saturation and shading. And, we bought it. Every time. Then comes the feeling of being unable to be compared to the person we like, and the fear of being abandoned or being haunted. So we either slip up or we do the next bad thing – have sex on the first date, thinking THAT will keep him interested. Wrong. Completely wrong. If anything, they would just walk away because they got EVERYTHING on one date. They go home and you are back on Tinder, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram…. searching for another failure to date. Sad, very sad. But it isn’t your fault. This is a millennial dynamic.
What to change?
At this point, we’re not so sure we’re going to succeed in changing anything on a global scale. However, what we can do is focus on the individual.
The next time you meet someone (online or offline), rather than doing a scrupulous DNA search of all their social platforms and spreading our legs when the first glass of wine rolls in, maybe you should approach it differently. For example, love yourself and appreciate what you can give. Ever thought of that?
The problem with millennial dating dynamics is that, for some reason, we all believe we’re not enough (maybe capitalism shaped us that way?). Still hoping we’ll be good enough to be loved, we’re ready to do anything just for a little little bit of true intimacy and affection. Can chatter replace his hand in yours? Can a one night stand match a lazy Saturday together, watching movies and messing up the sheets with takeout? Not too. But then, can we have it all? Neither joy nor love? Actually, we can. As long as we are ready to change our attitude.
Here are some great first date tips that will really help you if you want to change your unhealthy millennial dating routine. We’ve stolen a few from these Boomers:
Stop obsessive social networking
The more you check if he is online (and why he isn’t writing), the more unhealthy things get. He was working. He’s not by his phone. He is in a meeting or class. He will send a message, let it all occur. Just as you have life, so does he. Let him enjoy it.
Wait before you are blacked out
If you have read the text above, you know what we are talking about. Postpone sexual pleasure, meet the person first.
Be open and honest
Don’t try to copy your Instagram profile. Be yourself, love yourself for who you are and let them fall in love with it.
Leave your cellphone in the bag
You have an energetic, interested, and cute person sitting next to you. Why are you scrolling through Instagram rather than talking to them? This is not only impolite but also devoid of any intimacy and consideration for your significant other.
All of the texts you have read above may be overthinking or stating the evident – depending on your personal viewpoint. We hope this is well thought out and that the right people are waiting near you.
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