“It’s not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes an unhappy marriage.”
―Friedrich Nietzsche
When we first started making the subject of affection a public debate rather than easy, genuine feelings – we knew there would be trouble. With fast generationpriorities have changed drastically, sincere feelings have been replaced with caution, gentleness is misunderstood as weakness and decisions are now made based solely on forethought rather than impulse.
It can be said that the generation that has changed many things is Millennials.
One of the more apparent areas is the marriage arena; what happened with Millennials is that, either everyone seems to be saying “No” to getting married at all or they’re waiting for what society calls the “last minute” to join in the holy matrimony.
Everyone is talking about it
With Time magazine’s recent headline, “Why 25 percent of Millennials will never marry—a new report from Pew Research predicts that more people under 35 will be forever single,” the trend until then was changing. became a fact with tense media coverage.
Unlike their parents who used to marry in their early twenties (20 for ladies and 23 for men in the 1960s), Millennials choose to exchange their wedding vows no earlier than 27 for ladies and 29 for men (with rare exceptions) with unprecedented level. some of the Millennials aren’t married even until the age of 40. Millennials prefer to live together rather than seal the deal.
With ideas and wedding concept evolving drastically over time, the definition of marriage has become so fluid that some partnerships even invite third parties to join them. However, in sharp contradiction, under ‘traditional’ marriage it was tantamount to adultery and the primary reason for divorce. In a court of competent jurisdiction, the aggrieved spouse is responsible for providing evidence of the act. Such a couple needs to know how to prove infidelity if, certainly, it happened during the marriage. Maybe, with all the nuances involved, some millennials feel that the burden can be lightened by not sealing the deal on paper. However, for those who stay “traditional,” the ideal is to build solid relationships based on mutual respect, support, and friendship, then consider passion and love.
Why did Millennials form the idea of informal marriage?
Unlike the pattern of the past, Millennials are independent, economically independent from their parents or partners, and are also focused on their careers – not just building a family. Also, growing up as kids whose parents divorced repeatedly after 20 or more years of marriage, Millennials make it their business not to jump into anything unless they’re absolutely sure of what they can expect from their partner. With a solid economic foundation, high levels of education, and fast-paced gender relations, Millennials still make marriage a desirable milestone, although – not a necessity.
It seemed they had created a void in their own relationship – they would marry one another solely through a commitment to stay together, without the required paperwork to confirm love and devotion. Or – in terms of signing – the deal concludes with years of living together and sharing the “good and bad” in an unofficial marriage first. Instead of being a form of escape from a certain life or a socially conditioned narrative, marriage is now a choice.
Unlike most of their old parents in fact filed for divorce in Oregon in their fifties and sixties, with an nearly pathetic enthusiasm for the life ahead of them (or what’s left of it), most Millennial marriages either last longer or are for life, with no plans for divorce.
How has the idea of marriage changed?
Modern social attitudes that reject all forms of establishments (and examine them outdated), including marriage, are directly reflected in Millennial attitudes towards unions that should last endlessly.
New notion of romance and family embraced with the knowledge that nothing lasts endlessly and to keep a relationship going everybody needs to work hard and provide their best. Millennials emphasize the togetherness that’s incorporated in the effort and commitment to make things last.
Furthermore, Millennial marriages hardly ever tolerate one working parent; the goal is to maintain individuality in the marriage without dropping everything you have built up to saying “I do”; Millennial parents want to be good role models for their kids who will grow up watching their parents stay committed to one another with the same passion as they will stay focused on their individual goals.
