Image: http://media.salemwebnetwork.com/cms/CW/Couples/13788-couple-talking-bed-white-argument-wide.1200w.tn.jpg
There’s nothing lovely about divorce.
No matter how or why it happened, it signaled an end. It’s the end of something you once thought was unsolvable. So, there is no getting away from the indisputable fact that the divorce was messy. It will hurt. There will be times when you feel lost and you do not know if you made the right decision.
But in the end, it isn’t worth the pain of a marriage that, for whatever reason, no longer provides you with the proper emotional support. In fact, staying in an unworkable relationship, because you are afraid to pull it off, hardly ever works. Plus, with the help of an excellent divorce lawyer, your separation can be quick and stress-free.
The first step is discussing the divorce decision. Often, this is the most difficult part of the process, but there are ways to make it easier for all involved.
Consult a Lawyer
You will must decide whether to discuss the divorce with your spouse first or discuss your options with a lawyer. Marguerite Picard, divorce and family lawyer in Melbourne, proposed arranging a consultation. That way, you can talk to a professional, without making a concrete decision.
This is important because you do not want to blind your partner, unless you have reason to wish for a fight over kids or property. The best approach, if you ever see a lawyer is to be honest about this during that initial discussion. You owe it to your wife or husband.
Think about Your Words
The last thing you want to do is use your decisions as a weapon.
Try to avoid, at all costs, the temptation to tell your partner about the divorce during an argument or in a negative space. This can cause enormous damage and make sure that the process gets ugly.
If possible, spend some time alone consider what you’ll say and how you’ll approach the subject. Again, try not to get too emotional. Speak carefully, choose your words carefully, and put yourself in their shoes. More than anything, try to be kind.
Don’t Engage in Fights
This is much easier said than done, but it is extremely important. It does not matter how calm you speak, there’s at all times an opportunity that your partner will get very emotional and perhaps even angry. They may try to draw you into a verbal conflict, but this never ends well for both parties.
If anyone snaps, snaps, or names you, give it a try remove yourself from the situation until they calm down. In the end, anything you tell them won’t be processed properly if they’re in a really emotional state. You must wait until they’re ready to listen.
Staying calm will help both of you make the right decisions too. Note that you’re going to still must undergo situations where you both must agree, whether it is about preparing a termination claim form for sharing of assets, or co-parenting and child custody.
Be Clear and Confident
It’s quite common for couples to get to a place where the relationship is not working, but they keep trying because the alternative is too difficult. Usually, one party knows precisely what they want, but they cave in in the face of the other’s emotional despair.
Ultimately, this causes more pain than clean rest.
So, if you’re sure (and you have to be certain before you decide to speak), you must stand your ground. Just know that they will try to change your mind, but stay strong and firm. Don’t be emotionally blackmailed.
Make Alternate Arrangements
It can be very difficult to stay in the same room with your partner after deciding to end your relationship once and for all. Even if you are not moving right away, it is worth setting up an alternate sleeping space for a night or two.
This will give your partner time to digest the news and consider how they want to respond. Take time to explain this to them before you leave. Make sure they know that you did not leave the house out of annoyance or anger, but to give yourself some breathing space.
