Urban Life and the Challenge of Finding Meaningful Relationships

“Water, water, everywhere, but not a drop to drink.” For many single adults in urban settings, specifically the NYC metropolitan area, this familiar phrase sums up the search for significant relationships (ie love).

Pop into any bar or restaurant on any given night in Greenwich Village, Williamsburg, Astoria, along the Jersey Shore, or even on Long Island, and you will see large numbers of teens socializing over dinner and/or drinks. In this part of the country, most of them are single and amongst them, many aren’t even actively dating. Indeed, New York City and the surrounding area are home to a large single population. At first glance, one would nearly conclude that finding love here should be rather easy. Surprisingly enough, the truth is something quite different.

Observing this phenomenon more than three years ago, Inna Mel, a working professional at the time, determined to help change the dynamic by trying to help people identify the reasons why significant relationships are so elusive amongst socially well-adjusted people. well.

“Initially I started working with divorced men to help them realize the link between relationship quality and quality of life,” explains Inna. “Eventually, I also started working with women, and now work almost exclusively with women, ages 28 to 40.”

Inna emphasised that she was not a matchmaker. “I’m a relationship coach, helping women develop the tools they need to find healthy and meaningful relationships.”

He says that one of the challenges is for people to idealize what a relationship should be like, primarily compiling a list of the required qualifications for an ideal partner. “I help people break this conditioning by identifying the upbringing factors, values, and beliefs that shape their goals, while helping them understand and prioritize what’s important and what’s holding them back.”

She says there are various other issues that can stop people from finding love, and that every person brings a distinctive set of cultural, family and social factors that need to be addressed in order to cultivate an effective approach to healthy and fulfilling relationships. Apart from breaking down barriers, Inna emphasised some more proactive suggestions such as identifying moral and value parameters early on. “This isn’t necessarily discussed on the first date,” she warns. “But these are the important things that will determine the extent to which someone goes deeper into the relationship and finds compatibility.”

the website (www.innamel.com) will be live soon with more information about him and what he does, but he can be contacted via e-mail for inquiries until then at: innamel24@gmail.com