For men, there’s a certain expectation, if not a stigma, of at all times looking good in bed. You may hear about men who boast about their endurance and do more than their partner expects, but it is not unusual for men to struggle in bed.
You may find yourself in a situation where after a couple of minutes, you can’t perform at all. Your partner may tell you they do not mind, but you may not even want to respond. They may try to tell you how common it’s, but this may not cheer you up one bit.
Your partner may even ask if something is on your mind, but you may be trying so hard to fall asleep and avoiding conversation altogether.
Difficulty explaining performance issues
The general feeling men have when they’ve performance issues is that they feel very embarrassed and insufficient. These feelings overwhelm the more sophisticated parts of the brain that are capable of reasoning, reflection and expression. At the moment when he feels “failure”, a man wants to simply disappear.
Also, a man often does not know why he is having performance issues. There are many factors to consider, including performance anxiety, health problems, stress, and emotional disturbances. Even a doctor may not know what’s going on. Whether a man knows what the reason is or not, Erectile dysfunction is difficult to describe. Many men want to impress the lady they’re with, and if they do not, they worry that she will leave him.
Communicate with your partner
In our culture, men aren’t taught that it is okay to be vulnerable, let alone being vulnerable around women. They do not get much chance to know that it is safe and beneficial to be vulnerable around their partner. And in some cases, if you have the wrong partner, the vulnerabilities can go wrong. The reality is if you cannot be vulnerable with your partner, you cannot have a healthy relationship with that person. Better to find out one way or another.
There’s no script to discuss performance issues. Should you discuss it before sex, or only when it comes up? Should you try talking about it right away, or wait a bit? It just depends on you and your partner.
Some women are very familiar and cozy with male performance issues, and a few have never experienced them before. However, many ladies have some performance issues of their own and can be empathetic and understanding.
It is important for ladies to connect with their partners in a non-sexual way when performance issues arise, such as through conversation or affectionate touch. A lady can put a man’s mind comfy by staying calm and continuing to show acceptance of him. It is important to be sensitive, because sexuality is very personal and vulnerable.
Learn to express problems
A man can help the situation by learning the ways he feels most snug expressing himself. He needs to find a way to discuss his problems and never blame his partner as a way to reduce embarrassment.
The way a man handles appearance can tell a lady a lot about his character. By pondering the matter in his own time, a man can come up with some phrases that help him communicate with his partner. Maybe something like, “Not you. I find you very hot; I just thought I might be a little stressed from work this week. Or, “Bummer, this happens sometimes when I’m nervous.”
Being forthright and honest helps a lady relax by stopping the gears turning in her head. When there’s communication, it helps him understand how he can support his partner.
And even if you have lots of practice, that doesn’t suggest it is going to be easy. At our core, we want to be the perfect machine every time we hide, and we’re not going to be disappointed when something goes wrong. It’s normal to feel uncomfortable or not sure of what to do. Accepting those insecurities as normal and okay is really a robust step forward in resolving tension.
Remember that no matter what happens, it is not the end of the world, and with the right partner, you can get through it.
