Healing from an abusive relationship is a long and sophisticated process that has no expiration date. Some people can perfectly meet a new partner in only a few months or even weeks, while others may take years to recover and get back on the dating track.
Plus, issues like not knowing what a healthy, truly loving relationship should be like or fear of failing in the same pattern can only further complicate matters. If you have been a victim of abuse, you will probably have difficulty connecting with your new partner physically and emotionally.
In such situations, it is vital to take baby steps and practice self-compassion as you move forward. After all, your recovery from partner abuse is not a race. Without further ado, here’s what you can do to start the healing process and get ready to start dating again ultimately:
Focus on Self Care
When you get out of an abusive relationship, you are essentially a survivor. Harassment should never be taken lightly, and even if you have been fueled into thinking “other people are worse,” you need to remember that your experience is still valid and can’t be dismissed. Now is the time to dedicate yourself to practicing self-care and self-love.
This can take many forms. For some, it may be buying a new sex toy or browsing online for some best sex doll and permit themselves to explore their own sexuality in a safe way. Others may find an outlet for their feelings by exploring hobbies they left behind during an abusive relationship. You can even try keeping a journal to get negative thoughts and feelings out of your head or even consider attending a support group dedicated to survivors of abuse.
Once you have gotten rid of your abusive ex, you’ll probably have quite a lot of free time on your hands. If your ex-spouse used to control you or at all times tell you what to do, learning to spend time alone will not be easy and can make you feel lonely, so try using that to boost your confidence and self-esteem. take care from yourself.
In an abusive relationship, boundaries do not exist. There are perpetrators and victims, and the previous generally decides what happened and how it happened. Because of this, you may not be in the habit of setting boundaries or living the way you want, even after an abusive relationship has ended.
It’s best to start setting boundaries by separating yourself from your ex. Things may be more complicated if you have kids because you most likely will not have the ability to cut off all communication.
However, you can keep their phone number and choose to contact them only this way, rather than setting a digital barrier. This could mean blocking them on social media or preventing them from contacting you through texting apps like WhatsApp or Messenger. Creating at least some distance between you and your ex will make it easier for you to recover at your own pace.
Have a Support System
Healing from an abusive relationship can be lonely, particularly since abusers tend to distance their victims from the people who care about them. Don’t be afraid to reach out to members of the family and friends, even if you have not seen or spoken to them in a long time.
Reconnecting being with people who love you and care about you is probably the greatest things you can do during your recovery. This way, you can build a solid support system around you and have someone to talk to when you are feeling lonely or upset.
Reliable family and friends members can even help you get started exploring the dating world again or even set you up with some great people if you ask them to.
Learn How to Date Safely
Stuck in an abusive relationship can throw you out of the loop, but if you want to explore what Tinder and Bumble are all about and feel ready to date again, give yourself another chance to love. However, before you date anyone, it is vital to learn the principles of safe dating.
Whether it is a first date with someone you met at a dating app or having lunch with your sister’s co-workers, you should at all times try to meet in public and preferably during the day. Don’t worry — there will be plenty of time for a romantic evening once you get to know your date better, so long as you are compatible and feel ready for a new relationship.
Plus, you should at all times let someone know where you are going and who you are meeting. Have your own way of getting there, either by car or taxi. Stay sober during the date, and do not feel like you have to instantly share your phone number or reveal any personal details.
You can do all of these items on your next date or when you feel ready and comfy with such a decision.
The process of getting over an abusive relationship and learning how to date again is not easy. However, if you’re gentle with yourself and try to see things from a different perspective, you’ll ultimately find it easier to create a better future for yourself.
When recovering from your past relationship, you should give yourself enough time to heal. Focus on self-care and self-love, and make sure to set boundaries with your ex. It’s also a good idea to create a support system around yourself and, once you feel ready to start dating again, find out how dating safely.
Of course, you haven’t got to feel obligated to start dating as soon as you reconnect with someone else. Everyone has a different timeline with regards to healing from abuse, and it is vital that you listen to your gut. Be careful on the way!