For many couples who have been in long-term relationships, it’s inevitable that you may feel an absence of excitement in many aspects of the relationship. Many people who have been with the same person for years tend to get used to a certain way of doing things, which can lead to relationship fatigue and ends with you both unable to find the energy and orgasmic chemistry you once had with one another.
It’s quite normal for couples to reach a point in their relationship where they realize their priorities have shifted. Whether you have kids who now need more of your attention or whether work has become busier since you received your promotion, there’s bound to be a shift in your dynamic as a couple that makes finding time for intimacy difficult.
If this is something that’s happened to you and your partner, the very first thing you need to do is get over it. Having the initial conversation and pointing out that an absence of intimacy is anticipated will trigger a longer discussion about how to overcome this obstacle and move forward in your relationship. According to tantra coach and sex & relationships expert, Steffo Shambo, there are numerous ways for you to rekindle the fire between you and your partner!
- Schedule in weekly date nights
Taking time each week to have some private time with your partner is crucial for maintaining each other’s relationships. Whether it is a weeknight or a weekend trip, this time will provide you with an opportunity to catch up on one another’s lives, away from any distractions. Remember what attracted you to one another in the first place and relive the moments that gave you butterflies. By keeping things interesting, you could find yourselves more interested in each other in no time!
Pro Tip: Try to release some or all of this phone time if possible. This way you can make sure that you are giving all your attention to each other and really working on building that bond with each other.
- Know that distance is not all the time bad
While this goes a bit against the previous advice, it is still worth noting. With the current global situation, there is a good chance that if you and your partner live together, you have seen it all; good, bad and ugly. Without the freedom to meet friends and socialize away from your partner, there is a good chance you will need some alone time – that’s completely normal! In the end, relationships are all about balance. As much as you need to spend quality time with your partner, you also need to get some well-deserved ‘me time’, to indulge yourself.
- Spices in the bedroom
Taking a stand and switching between the sheets is unquestionably one way to try and reignite the fire between the two of you. Be sure to discuss how you both feel comfy experimenting in the bedroom – surprising your partner in the heat possibly will not work. Remember, communication is all the time important!
Experimenting can mean trying new positions in bed or using toy to increase the joy with your partner. It can even be role-playing and acting out your biggest sexual fantasies! It can be anything that isn’t only comfy for you and your partner, but also fun and allowing your orgasmic energy to shine through. Once you have decided what works for you, make sure to organize everything so that you and your partner are as comfy as possible. If you are both new to this, the familiarity will only ease both of you in the process so it is less awkward.
- Take it back to where it started
One great way to rediscover the spark in your relationship is to look back at how it started. Take time to talk to your partner about the first time you met or the first time you connected. Is it possible to return to that place? Have fun and recreate that initial encounter any way you can. Throwing it back into the nice old days can be a fun way to bring back some of that lost youthful energy. This can be a cute, lighthearted activity that tugs at your heartstrings and brings you closer together!
Relationship fatigue is pretty common after years of being together and it is understandable that things can stabilize. That’s why it is so important for you and your partner to have the ability to communicate with one another and be willing to work your way out of this relationship rut. More often than not, there’s a larger underlying issue to the absence of intimacy, so be sure you talk things through and use some of these tips to help you move forward!